So I wrote about my volunteer work in Kolkata, but not about much else. There are so many other experiences that I could share, like regularly visiting our friendly neighborhood flair-filled chai man, or listening to a nightclub full of Indians screaming the words to Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall”, or getting intentionally “bumped” by a motorbike, or haircut day at Shanti Dan. So many good stories. Remind me to tell them to you later.
However, before I move on to tell you about my wonderful time so far in Thailand, there is one Kolkata story that must be told. It is my essential “Incredible India” story.
There was an international film festival going through Kolkata, and a few of us decided to go. The fact that the movie was among the most hideous things I have ever seen does not factor into this story. But it was. Oh gosh it was bad. I apparently was so horrified by the film that I lost my head and left my camera in the theater. When I realized this later, I was really sad, because it was a birthday present from my dad right before I left for my trip. And it was a nice camera. I had come to grips with the fact that I would never see it again, but I decided that I had to at least check to see if they had it at the theater.
When I arrived and asked if there was a lost and found, I was directed to one security guard after another who couldn’t quite understand what I was asking when I said that I had lost a bag. Not their fault- I can’t expect everyone in a Bengali-speaking region to be able to understand my English mixed with pitiful attempts at Bengali. However, I finally was passed along to a police sergeant who could speak great English. When he heard that I had lost a bag, he looked up and said, “Oh, with a camera?” I was so excited- I couldn’t believe that they had it! He motioned for me to follow him, and as he led me away, his superior officer said (in English so that I could understand) “Make sure she describes it before you give it to her!”
We went to a dark little office behind the screen in the movie theater, and my camera was sitting on the desk. I almost jumped up and down with glee. We walked into the office, and the officer said, “Now if you will please describe the camera.” You know, the camera sitting on that desk right in front of my face. I looked at him, confused, and started to describe the camera that we were both looking at. “Um….it is an Olympus camera…it’s black…it has a strap on it…” The officer intently looked at me, nodding seriously. I trailed off, and he said, “Okay. I am satisfied that it is your camera. I am glad that we have found it. However, I cannot give this camera to you today, as today is a holiday.” What??? I just stared. He told me to come back the following day at 2pm to complete their “procedure” (no other time, as they would be way too busy) and escorted me out of the office.
I returned the following day promptly at 2pm and sat waiting for the officer until 3:30pm. I was brought back to the same office, and there were three men standing there, surrounding my camera, which was still sitting on the desk. They all conferred in Bengali, and then the officer turned to me. “Ma’am, I am going to write a letter from you to the theater, stating that you have indeed received this camera. However, it must be in your handwriting. So you will then copy the letter and sign it.” I asked why I couldn’t just write the letter, but that is not how these things are done. So he wrote the letter and slid it across the desk to me. As English is not his first language, there were a few spelling and grammatical errors that I corrected as I copied the statement word for word onto a new piece of paper. He took it from me, looked it over, and frowned. He said, “No ma’am; I need it to be exactly as I have written it.” I said, “Umm, oh, I just, some of the spelling…” He cut me off with a laugh. “Ma’am, we use British English. Fix it, please.” I bit the inside of my lip in order not to laugh as I crossed out my correctly spelled words and replaced them with misspellings. He took it back, nodded in approval, and looked back at me. “Now, ma’am, if you don’t mind, if you could please write me a thank you letter.” Completely in shock and dying to laugh at this point, I said, “Um, you mean you want to give me your address and…” “No ma’am. If you could write the letter to me right now.” He slid a piece of paper and a pen to me. So I did. I slid it back across the desk to him. And then another man in the room said, “And now if you could write one for me as well.” Oh dear. I wrote the second letter. I was about to die laughing at this point, but I had to match their very serious expressions. The officer then picked up the phone and began speaking in Bengali. I waited, wondering if I was finally done or if there was going to be more. I heard him say the word “American”. Then he began reading, “Dear Sir, I would like to thank you so much…” and he read my entire letter over the phone while I sat there. As I sat there still with my very serious expression. As the inside of my lip started to bleed because I had to bite it so hard in order not to laugh.
Finally, I interrupted and whispered, “Um, can I leave now, or is there more?” He covered the mouthpiece of the phone and waved me along. I thanked everyone in the room, picked up my camera, and walked out of the office. They promptly closed the door behind me, leaving me in the pitch black theater with no help to get out. I felt my way through the dark until I could find a door, and let myself out, laughing the whole way.
Yep. Oh, India. Incredible India.
Now that I’m at a slightly faster internet connection, I can share a few pictures of Kolkata as well…

Crowded into a rickshaw

Kalighat

Teaching English

At Shanti Dan

At least they're honest.

At Kalighat

Roomies